Leadership Lifts All Stories
A podcast host recently asked what I felt was the guiding principal of successful leadership. While there are many, I said that true leadership is defined by how we help others become successful leaders themselves.
Genuine leadership is earned, not demanded, respected, not feared. True leaders know that every individual they meet, team with, or guide has their own unique set of personal skills and organic potential to be uplifted and promoted.
We choose leadership by celebrating rather than discounting those around us, by building people up, bringing out the best in them, and elevating their #CorporateStorytelling instead of stifling it. We make this choice through two core attributes of proven effective leadership: Charism and Service.
Charisma + Service
Dave Stachowiak, founder of Coaching for Leaders, says that leaders aren’t naturally charismatic; leadership creates charisma. By choosing to lead – to empower your team, to risk authority, to stand in front of others and share your knowledge, to give of yourself for the benefit of someone else – you gain charisma. The more you lead, the more charisma you demonstrate, and the more successful your leadership grows.
But charisma on its own is not enough. Many politicians, executives, and faith leaders are highly charismatic, but not effective or respected leaders. Charisma only works for us when it selflessly serves others.
The choice to serve others over ourselves is natural to some, challenging to most. To be a trusted leader, we have to repeatedly make the conscious decision to create benefit for the person or team in front of us rather than for ourself and our personal desires.
Status
British behavioral scientist Desmond Morris is a specialist in the dynamics of dominance and submission. Morris' theory is that each of us possesses both inner status and outer status, both in constant motion, up or down, based on the position, group dynamic, or circumstance we find ourselves in.
Inner status measures how confident or insecure we feel about ourselves and our value in any given situation. Outer status measures how we display either the confidence or insecurity we feel inside to those around us.
Low/Low Status might be someone with what they consider a menial or insignificant job who feels low inner status and therefor constantly subjugates themselves and their thoughts to everyone else in frequent displays of low outer status.
High/High Status could be a politician who feels extremely high inner status, then wields it like a cudgel by displaying high outer status so everyone around them knows exactly who's in charge and not to question their authority.
Low/High Status gets a bit more interesting; Many of us feel low inner status, but make an effort to display high outer status in order to cover up our insecurities or give the illusion of confidence we wish we actually had.
High/Low Status is the most compelling; Think of the corporate executive who feels high inner status, but repeatedly displays low outer status in order to level the playing field and serve their organization. They know their power, but don't feel the need to prove it; instead, they leverage that power to make those around them feel more important and vital. This is a true leader, the one we all hope to find – and to be.
Bottom Line
Combined, charisma and service are formidable and undeniable. We seek leaders with there two attributes, look to them for guidance, and model ourselves around the examples they prove through their words and actions.
The image above mentions the word ‘teacher’; teachers were always my greatest leaders. I credit so many for giving me so much more credit than I usually deserved, always building me up, helping me grow despite the odds and challenges I created. I’ll be forever grateful to Mrs. Sullivan, Mr. Kittleson, Mr. & Mrs. Ward, Dan Regas, Pat Ponich, Terry O'Donnell, Jim Christian, Mac Owen, Steven Lutvak, Mark Brink, and so many more.
Discover the leaders in your circle – teachers, colleagues, bosses, family members. Consider the impact their leadership has made on your life, and the ways you can show genuine leadership to others through charisma and service. Grow the tip of the iceberg. Raise all boats. Create your own charisma.
